Two Years in the Rear-View Mirror

In February of 2014 I decided to make a two-year commitment to Youth With A Mission (YWAM) in Honolulu, Hawaii.

I had just finished six months of missionary training through YWAM Honolulu’s Discipleship Training School (DTS), the latter half of which I had spent in Nepal with eight of my classmates. It had been a trying adventure in a new place far from the comforts of home but also a necessary experience from which I am still finding new value. Nepal was like a heaping pile of vegetables. Eating your vegetables at dinner is not just a good idea because Mom won’t let you have ice cream if you don’t, and also not just so you will be healthier later in life. But eating your vegetables is a good idea because one day you might have a child. And when your tiny tyrant throws a tantrum at the table, you can understand that though eating vegetables might seem like the end of the world for precious little Billy, it most assuredly is not the end of the world and you can rest easy knowing your son or daughter, who you love dearly, will grow up healthy and wise because you didn’t give in to their tears. I am ever so grateful to my outreach leaders, Greg and Corrie Burgers, for humbly serving and encouraging our team with unconditional love and for extending to me such utterly, undeserved grace and for ultimately being superb examples of Christ in a way that continues to impact my life. Thank you from the depths of my heart.

In September of 2014 I dove head-first into my commitment as an outreach leader-in-training and then co-lead my first trip to Asia in January of 2015. We took a team of seven students to Bali, Indonesia for four weeks and then traveled to Papua New Guinea for our remaining six weeks. This outreach was a test of love and faith. We believed and prayed relentlessly for our students’ growth and the Holy Spirit to work in the hearts of the locals . On the penultimate day of our outreach we witnessed incredible breakthroughs in our students and the following day an entire village received Jesus as their Lord and Savior. God is love and God is faithful..

Before I had left for Indonesia I had expressed to our base director that I was willing to volunteer in our accounting office and so after our students’ graduation in June I was granted extended leave for the summer to visit good friends back on the mainland and then returned to Honolulu in September as an assistant to our accountants. I quickly discovered that our accountants Dave Stone and Jhun Camacho work hard. All day. Not just in the office.
Dave has a family and runs a non-profit organization that provides people with computer and language skills so they can get jobs. He’s often up all night taking care of our base’s finances and processing support for missionaries across the globe. Somehow he still finds time to play basketball with his son and during tax season I doubt he sleeps.
Jhun served as a missionary in India for nearly two decades before God called him and his wife to YWAM Honolulu where he demonstrates faithfulness in everything he has been given and possesses an unparalleled work ethic. Jhun is a father of three sons, an auto-mechanic, and when he’s in the office he listens to the Bible online.

Above all, these men gain their strength through their Savior. They don’t do anything in their own power alone. They constantly rely on God for wisdom and provision and the ability to do what has been set before them. They don’t just do tasks for the sake of doing them. Everything they do is in servitude to, and for the glory of God, the Creator of all things and the One who gives us life abundantly. The woman in Cambodia that one of my students led to Christ this past spring may have never had the opportunity to hear the Gospel without these two men who pour out everything as a sacrifice for our King. I’m grateful for my dad and men like these that have shown me the value of hard-work and how to lean on God always.

After a quarter in our accounting office, I once again found myself poised to lead another group of students through their ten weeks in Asia. In April we set out for Cambodia where we spent seven weeks with local YWAMers sharing the Gospel and aiding the community in any way that we could. Our team of eleven students were remarkable testaments of the love of Jesus. Through their words as well as their actions, they chose to exhibit Christ to each other, to our contacts, and to their leaders. Through this love for one another, our work was made effective. From Cambodia, we flew to Tokyo, Japan for our final three weeks of outreach. There we worked with a sub-set of Campus Crusade focused on high school students through which our team was given the opportunity to speak with over two-hundred first year students in their classrooms about hope in Jesus Christ. Also, we rode the subway many, many times.

And that brings us to now. Our January students of 2016 have graduated and gone, though many are returning in September either as staff members or secondary school students. During the summer we take a break between schools to maintain our property and reach out to our community. Right now I’m fulfilling the last few weeks of my commitment by working in the kitchen and doing general tasks around base. Tuesday nights I help with an ESL class that we run in Chinatown as a way to connect with our ever-growing Asian population and Thursdays we host a worship night which is always a highlight during my week. Ben, our tech guru is home in Alaska for three weeks so I try to do things with our soundboard while he’s gone. To my knowledge, I have yet to set anything on fire.

So what’s next? Before I became a volunteer with YWAM, I believe that God said to go to YWAM Honolulu so that He could prepare me for the rest of my life and as far as I know, He hasn’t told me to leave. In the fall I’ll be filling the role of DTS Administrator for a yet to be determined amount of time. Right now, Spencer and Madison Lemer co-direct our DTS and have been doing the jobs of three people since they stepped into leadership. They are two of the most remarkable people I’ve ever had the privelige to work with and I’m thrilled with the opportunity to continue serving under them. Madison is also pregnant with their first child, due in October,

I’m excited to be here in Honolulu. I’m grateful for the people that God has used to teach me, and I appreciate their passion to follow God with everything they have. The next portion of this entry is something I wrote while I was in Cambodia as part of a larger collection of other stuff I’ve been writing and hope to write in the future.

---

"It wasn’t until my DTS that I discovered my love for America. What I found during my missions school in Honolulu was not something that caused me to fall in love with my nation. What I found were kind, good-humored people from other countries all around the world that sometimes poked fun at the country in which I was raised. At some point during my youth I had decided patriotism was a little bit uncool and therefore decided that I would have nothing to do with it. Nothing overtly American appealed to me; I didn’t even like the colors red, white and blue. But when I first heard a Canadian take a crack at the USA, my first reaction was not to laugh good-naturedly as I’ve learned to do now. Instead my reaction was one of indignation. I wanted to educate my Canadian comrade in how thoroughly ridiculous his home was with its moose and mounted police and how he must be equally ridiculous for living there and how he should feel inferior for using Monopoly money to buy maple syrup and fake bacon.
It turns out that I was very proud. I possessed the kind of pride that is in direct opposition to God and everything that He would have me be. In addition to this cancer, I also had what I now like to think of as a "healthy sense of pride" in my country. I’m not really sure if there is such a thing as a "healthy sense of pride" and it’s probably worth noting that I think God has redeemed my patriotism by transforming it into a passion for my nation and a desire to see America worship God once again instead of itself, but what I actually want to point out is this: I didn’t know I loved something until it was poked; what I thought didn’t exist within me was merely hiding. A few years later something would happen of the same sort.

I was nearing the end of my first two-year commitment with YWAM and weighing my options. I was interested in finishing school and moving back home to New York but God had been gently working in my heart and so I found myself considering another commitment to YWAM Honolulu. It was during this time that I met Marvin. I don’t know where Marvin is from, whether or not he is married, if he has children nor his last name. But I am thankful for Marvin and this is why.

I was sitting with ten of my students in a well-lit classroom on the third floor of what was called The Yellow House in sweltering Battambang, Cambodia when Marvin told us he used to be a staff member at YWAM Honolulu but then wanted to actually do something with his life so he decided to leave. He then alluded to the possibility that we could also do something with our lives, but most certainly not at YWAM Honolulu. We all sort of laughed and several of my students glanced at me to see my reaction. I chuckled and mustered a smile. But my smile probably looked more like a grimace because I’m not good at faking smiles and the reason I was faking this one was because I was both shocked and angry, but mostly angry. Clearly Marvin had had a bad experience with YWAM Honolulu and it’s probable that his misgivings could be justified, but any Christian should know that Jesus didn’t pay for our new lives in Him so that we could have bad experiences and especially not so we would hold on to them for nearly fifteen years. When we become Christians we give up the right to have bad experiences and we certainly give up the right to be wounded and then harbor unforgiveness in our heart; which is exactly what I had to remind myself of later that afternoon. How dare he say those things, and how dare he say them in front of my students? I was angry at Marvin but I decided to forgive him. He had poked my pride which was probably a good thing and maybe he was just bad at sarcasm. It was then that I realized I loved YWAM Honolulu. In addition to illuminating my pride, I had discovered a passion for my YWAM base and hearing someone drag its name through the mud made me a little bit furious. Today, I’m thankful for Marvin. I’m thankful for Marvin because from that moment forward I no longer looked at YWAM Honolulu as a stepping stone in the staircase of my own life but instead I understood that my life should be laid down in obedience at the foot of a cross bathed in my King’s blood where others might step on me to meet their royal Father. Through God’s gentle prodding and Marvin’s salty remarks I came to realize that the place I had been lead to was a place I loved. And by God’s grace, it’s where I was allowed to stay. The very next day I told our DTS Director that I would be with him as long as he needed me."
Thanks for reading! If you've made it this far, you should know that it is not my intention to offend our frozen friends in the North. Canada is a beautiful place with splendid people that possess kindness and courtesy far greater than their neighbors to the South. As for Marvin, I love him. He is serving God in a great way and has no doubt made vast sacrifices and impacted many people for the benefit of our King and this world. I'm sure he could teach me a great deal on what it means to live a life worthy of Christ's call.

September through December of 2015

"When things go wrong you ask yourself, 'How can there be a good God?' I think the conclusion that I come to is that both faith and doubt are equally logical choices in the face of a tragedy.' ...Faith is to say, 'Yes, the future will have pain but there is a meaning and a purpose deeper than that pain.' For me, that isn't a choice to believe rather than doubt." -Jon Foreman in Switchfoot's inspiring documentary, "Fading West"

Also, it's been a phenomenal few months here at YWAM Honolulu. We've trained several dozen students who will soon be preaching the gospel in Sri Lanka, Thailand, India, The Philippines, Greece and Indonesia. I spent most of my days volunteering within the accounting office, where we process support for missionaries serving in Asia as well as Europe. I look forward to three weeks at home over Christmas and then a hasty return to Honolulu where I'll be one of five staff members preparing for a school of over 22 students starting in mid-January. Three of us will then take teams to different parts of Asia for ten weeks starting in April.

This past quarter I've learned that like a good father, God helps his child stand up. Over and over again.

Peace and blessings to you,

Brice Livingston

Identity in Christ

My name is Brice Livingston. I'm twenty-two years old. I'm from upstate New York but I've been living in Honolulu, Hawaii sporadically since September of 2013. I have two incredible, Christian, parents who deserve every bit of honor I can give them. Through them I've learned to trust God and continually seek Him out in every situation, and so much more. So if you're reading this, Mom and Dad, thank you. Thank you so much.

I'm the third and final child in my family of five and after two years of community college I decided to join an inter-denominational mission's organization called Youth With A Mission. Since rededicating my life to Christ in December of 2011, things have been pretty exciting. I've shared a stage with a few famous bands, driven across the US, hiked in Nepal, surfed in Bali, had a gun trained on my head in Papua New Guinea, ordered pizza in the Philippines, strolled down the number one beach in America with the girl of my dreams and formed the best friendships anyone could ask for. But this is less about me as it is about my Father, and glory must be given where glory is due.

Thank You God for this life I live. Thank You for Your grace and love that outshine any kind of darkness within me. Thank you for redeeming me and showing me not how sinful I am, but showing me my worth and giving me purpose. My life is Yours. You're awesome and wonderful and mighty and there's nothing that stands in Your way. Teach me to fear You. Teach me to love You. Guide me and give me wisdom. Speak to me, and open my ears. I want to know who You are.

I've recently discovered that universities sometimes accept "Life Experience" as credits toward a degree. (Which is good news for a prospective transfer student who's taken a few gap years.) Anyway, the reason I think they do that is because it's almost impossible to live and learn nothing. Although the lessons we learn may be different, they probably all hold value of some kind; great or small.

The following is a regurgitation of things I've heard or read in the past year that have had an impact on my life and have inspired me to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness.

Satan is the father of lies, and his greatest lie I've swallowed is about my identity. How can a child know he's loved if he thinks he's an orphan? How can a soldier fight if he doesn't even know he's in the army? It makes sense that our identity in Christ is under attack. If I were Satan, I would do the same thing. So many times through my Christian walk I've identified with my sin rather than with the words of the Creator who spoke our universe into existence. And if God's words literally formed things out of whatever is less than thin air, I should probably believe Him when He says I'm free from condemnation and all my sins have been forgiven. God's words have power. And so do ours.

Instead of rebuking Satan and his lies, it's imperative to ignore them and speak the truth instead.

So I'm not an orphan. I'm not incapacitated. I'm not bound by sin. I'm not only as good as my last deed or mistake and I'm certainly not alone fending for myself. I have existed since before the world began. I was created in the image of the one, true, living God as His very own child, and before I was even born He knew the plans that He has for my life. I'm worth the life of a king, and not just any king; I'm worth the life of The King of Kings. I'm loved beyond anything I can imagine because there's no greater love than laying down your life for a friend. And that actually happened. Jesus loves me this I know... I AM weak but He is strong, and His Spirit of Holiness lives in me, empowering me to live this life, not for myself but for Him. And who can stand against me when the Lord, God Himself is for me? Every moment I'm on earth God's glory outshines Satan. Satan hates me and he wants to kill me because every time he sees me he sees my Father. And he can't kill my Father, he's already tried. So he thinks he can kill me instead. But he can't because I'm God's son and a father protects his son. The same power that brought Jesus back to life lives in me. I didn't chose Him, He chose me. He set this up.

So, You are a child of a God who loves you so much that He died for you. You're part of God's kingdom with value and purpose. You are chosen. That's always been the truth. There's never been any other way. Now believe it. All you have to do is change the way you think. Submit to God, set your mind on things that are holy, hide God's word in your heart, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Ignore the lies and embrace the truth, know the truth, speak the truth. And the truth is Jesus Christ. Without Him there is no life.

Jeremiah

     Let me tell you about a girl I met last year. Her name is Hakani which means "Smile." Hakani was born in 1995 deep in the Amazonian forests of Brazil. When Hakani was two years old she was still unable to walk or talk. Like many tribes in the Amazonian jungles, Hakani's tribe believed that babies born with deformities or disabilities were cursed and should be killed for the good of the tribe. Hakani's parents were ordered to bury her alive. She was knocked unconscious and placed in what was soon to become her grave as her parents placed the first shovel-full of dirt over her face.

*     *     *

     Atheists say there is no God. Muslims say there's a God but he doesn't love his people. Hindus say there are many gods and Christians say they believe in the one and only true God who created the heavens and the earth. But everyone; man, woman, and child; professor at Princeton or aboriginal from South America; can agree that there is both right and wrong. Regardless of what we are taught, where we live, what we believe, or circumstances endured, there is some sort of moral code imprinted in the very fiber of our beings. We have a sense of right and wrong, a conscience that causes us to react to injustices administered upon us, to lash out when we have experienced an unfairness. But here's the problem, even though we can agree that "right" and "wrong" exist, we can't agree on universal definitions for either term. What is considered to be heinously unjust in one culture (cannibalism) is entirely permissible in another. Factions of government and political parties dispute laws and policies, families quarrel within neighborhoods, individuals scream at each other from car windows and glare from behind heaping shopping carts. We all have different definitions of right and wrong based on what we're taught, where we live, who we socialize with, what religion we believe, and what we try to decide for ourselves. But there's another problem. Actually, it's not just "another problem" it happens to be the problem: we're human. Even if we could agree on what right and wrong should look like in our society and establish guidelines accordingly, we wouldn't follow them. Give humanity just one rule and we'll twist it, tweak it, disobey it and break it; not just by accident but with creativity and flare like it's a competition and we deserve "style points" for excessive depravity. History can shed further light on what we refer to as "human nature".

     Okay, I have a point and Hakani is actually part of it but bear with me for just a moment longer. So far we can agree that everyone has a sense of right and wrong. But, we can't always agree on what right and wrong should look like and then on top of that no one's perfect. Moving on.

     The 50 United States of America are currently populated with a generation of young people who don't know who God is, don't know who man is, and have been taught that truth is relative and not absolute. This misinformation and lack of knowledge has conjured up a brand of society characterized with an arresting amount of greed, corruption and injustice in which we (Christians) have decided to exist listlessly inside the comfort of our church walls. As a nation we've embraced all cultures, all religions, all creeds and ways of life and stamped them with validity under the banner of tolerance and acceptance. All anyone has to do to be "right" is live in America, land of the free and home of the brave.

     Our nation was born out of the pursuit of religious freedom and founded by Godly men who served the people with a legislature that produced laws based on Biblical principles, the result of which was prosperity and power, blessing and favor. The day has come, that we no longer have that favor. Not only have we turned away from the hand that has fed us faithfully for generation after generation, we've turned on it with hatred like a dog snarling at an abusive owner. Families are broken, churches are turned inward, education is faltering, entertainment is increasingly unwholesome, media are biased and lack integrity, our economy is unstable, and our government continually fails to recognize its purpose. This is not an indivisible nation under God. This is a nation divided against itself, depleted of blessing, unyielding in its wickedness and unwilling to listen to wisdom and reason. This is a doomed nation, an eagle that's scratched out its own eyes.

*     *     *

    Some time after Hakani was buried alive, her fifteen-year old brother dug her up and removed her tiny body from the dirt. To his astonishment, he saw that she was still breathing and quickly carried her on his back, deep into the jungle away from the village. She was soon discovered and eventually adopted by two missionaries who took her to a hospital where she was diagnosed and treated for a thyroid condition. News that Hakani was alive traveled back to her village along with the knowledge of modern medicine and hospitals.

     Today, Hakani is happy and healthy and living in the US with her parents, Marcia and Edson Suzuki. Hakani's tribe, the Suruwaha, no longer kill deformed or disabled children and because of Hakani's story, the Brazilian government is in the process of passing a law against infanticide although there is some opposition from cultural anthropologists that say infanticide is a tribal tradition that shouldn't be interfered upon for the sake of preserving indigenous cultures.

*     *     *

     Murdering a two-year old infant is wrong. However, the stark reality is that in America we're not quite sure if it really is, and now what it comes down to is the question of "who has the loudest voice?" The 1960's are known for drugs. Did everyone alive in the 1960's do drugs? Nope. Actually, statistically speaking very few people did, but the minority who did do drugs claimed an entire decade of our history in their memory because they had the loudest voice. Right now these cultural anthropologists have the loudest voice; the voice that says culture, circumstance and individuality supersede morals and justice; the voice that says "expression of self" takes precedence over the preservation of truth; that happiness is achieved through instant gratification at the expense of marriage and families; that there's no such thing as universal truth but rather what's true for you might not be true for me and that the definitions of "right" and "wrong" are relative and subject to interpretation; that the right to choose is more important than the right to life. This voice is the voice of someone who wants to steal, kill and destroy our nation.

     But there's good news. Our Savior Jesus Christ, Son of the most high God, whose still, small, voice is louder than any voice of Satan's, rose again after three days conquering sin and death and He's on our side because He loves us and He has plans for each one of us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, to give us hope and a future. So in the name of Jesus Christ, it's time to stand up for truth. It's time to act on what we believe, or at least just believe what we say we believe. It's time to take matters into our hands by putting them into God's. It's time to rescue our Hakani. Let's transform the United States of America.

     The first step is understanding that the Bible is true, not just for Christians, not because we believe it's true, but because it's God's word. The Bible is true whether we believe it or not and it holds the answers to our nation's problems, not just our daily dilemmas and emotional insecurities. Christianity is the cure, we have the answers. Just because Americans have the right to practice different religions doesn't mean that all religions should be practiced. Just because we have the right, doesn't make it right. God is real, the only way to heaven is through Jesus. And if choosing to believe that seems like your being self-righteous, hypocritical, disrespectful of others and their beliefs, intolerant, unloving, closed-minded, ignorant, old-fashioned, disillusioned or stupid, then congratulations. You're on your way to step two.

     The second step is rejecting the lies that the world says about our religion: "...Christianity is outdated...a cancer in our society...limits progress...a breeding ground for ignorance and intolerance...okay for some people but not for me." TV, school, work, music, and every other element of life in the US, attempts to coerce us into believing these lies. Whether it's through an underlying theme, a subtle nudge, or a blatant declaration, we're trained to worship progress, success, products of man, man himself, and deny the existence and relevance of our Creator, our Origin, our very reason for living, the one and only true God. And if you're having trouble refuting these lies then it's probably time to dig deep and figure out why you say you're a Christian and choose whether you're going to believe the lies Satan has fed society or the truth that sets us free. And that leads us to step three.

     The third step to transforming America is to "be the change you want to see." Cliché but true.
 Jesus says in Matthew 28:18, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations..." We have the truth, we have the answers, we have the cure for our diseased society, and now we have permission from God to share his love, teach his word, and for all intents and purposes, be Jesus to the world...and change it. If we look at our lives, we see a miniature model of what God's plan is for our country. We see our life without God, full of sin and darkness and then, we witness the transforming power that follows a simple decision of surrender and our life is radically changed. We're made new. We're rooted in the spirit and we bear fruit accordingly. We love our neighbor, we take joy in our salvation, we have peace that surpasses understanding, we wait patiently upon the Lord, we're kind to one another, we speak of God's goodness, we're made righteous through faith, our gentle answers turn away wrath, and the fruits of the Spirit are more plentiful the more we wrestle our selfishness into submission. Transformation starts at a personal level.

     If you wish our government would start trusting God, start trusting God with your money. If you're appalled at what's on TV, don't watch it. If you're frustrated with what your kids are learning in school, teach them at home or start supplementing their education with the Bible, give them the tools they need for discernment. If you want good leaders in office, be a good leader in your home. If you're tired of our government being divided on every issue, stop considering divorce as an option for your marriage. If you want our nation to turn to God, turn to God yourself. If you want to see radical change in our country, expect radical change in your life and in your family first. ...And pray. Prayer actually has power.

     Three things that are basically two but also three or maybe four, to transform The United States of America according to Brice Livingston: believe that the Bible is true, stop believing lies, and have a relationship with Jesus Christ. And pray.

     Sometimes it bothers me that America sends out missionaries. It's like offering to weed your neighbor's flower bed when not only does your own flower bed need weeding, but your house is on fire and your dad just had a heart attack. So instead of dialing 911 or locating your increasingly useless fire extinguisher, you slowly walk across the street, kneel down in the dirt and put on some gardening gloves. But maybe that's what Jesus would do if Jesus had a flower bed and weeds and a house on fire and a tiny fire extinguisher and a dad with a...heart. Oh.

     It bothers me that my home is in danger. It bothers me that the country I love might be on the brink of non-existence or enslavement or ruin or something terribly, terribly...bad. And maybe it's not. But I really think it is. Or will be soon if things don't change. It scares me and makes me sad.

      Dear God, thank you for your grace, thank you for your sacrifice, let my life be an offering to you, let everything I do be done for your glory. Help me to love others in the same way you love me. I want to know you better and better with each new day, fill me with your Spirit, continue to speak to me and guide me. Give me wisdom and patience. Be with my family and keep them safe. And God, please continue to bless America, I don't want my home to burn down. Amen.

     Okay, time for disclaimers. While writing this I became painfully aware of how little I know about history, politics, current events, my religion, grammatical rules, (particularly those pertaining to commas and semi-colons) and just things in general. So on behalf of my ignorance, I apologize. In addition to my ignorance, I'm also sorry if at any particular point, you felt that my words were shouting at you through your screen. It was not my intention to berate you, however it was my intent to sort of...strike a match under your britches. Which coincidentally sounds much, much worse. Please forgive me.

     Just a bit more. Marcia and Edson Suzuki, the missionaries who adopted Hakani, are part of a worldwide missions organization called Youth With a Mission. And the founder of Youth With a Mission, Loren Cunningham, happens to also be the author of several books, more specifically, importantly and pertinently, the author of this one:

     The Book that Transforms Nations talks about how the Bible is full of universal truths that have the power to transform nations and gives specific examples of how nations have prospered when these truths are applied and then also how they declined when these truths were ignored. He also points out what those truths are and how to apply them. For example, God is infinite and personal, unified and diverse. Man is finite and fallen but redeemable and valuable and this knowledge is the basis for any thriving society. And I won't get into it but basically everyone should read it. Cool.

     One last paragraph. Youth With a Mission also happens to be the same organization that I am a part of for the next two years as a staff member in the Discipleship Training School here in Honolulu, Hawaii where we train and equip students "to know God and make Him known" through ten weeks of lectures and then an eight to ten week-long mission trip to Asia. We run three over-lapping schools a year. The first starts in September, the second in January, and the third in April. I will be leading a trip to Asia during our January school. Right now I am on support-staff for our September school which has thirty-three students. I am extremely blessed and privileged with this opportunity to be a part of God's plan in all these young people's lives. Thank you to my family, friends, church and all my supporters, none of this is possible without your prayers and donations. Thanks for reading, be blessed!

Brice Livingston
(716) 800-7991

bricelivingston@gmail.com
http://www.gofundme.com/brice-livingston

Going Back

I've just awoken into my final week here at home in Akron, NY before embarking on a new journey. On September 3rd at 10:28am I will have boarded my flight back to Hawaii as a volunteer staff member at YWAM Honolulu. During these two years I will be part of a team that trains and ministers to students enrolled in YWAM's Discipleship Training School. ...and I am beyond excited.

So why me? Why Hawaii? Well those are good questions to which I don't really have a good answer. There are approximately 2.2 billion Christians on the earth all with unique and colorful talents and gifts. In the US alone there are 450,00 churches. YWAM is one of 4,000 known evangelical missions organizations and has over 1,200 ministry centers on six of the seven continents. So why me? Why Hawaii?

I'd love to be able to proclaim, "My name's Brice Livingston and I'm called to YWAM Honolulu!" with that zeal and fervor and crazed kind of look in my eye that screams of surety and boldness. I'd love to be able to tell people how God came down on clouds of lightning and fire and spoke to me in a slow, thunderous voice saying, "Brice...I want you to go to Honoluluuu."

But the truth is, a year ago after a particularly long shift at work, some prayer, a few conversations with friends and family and a Google search, I found myself going to Honolulu for a DTS. Six months later after a week back at home and some encouragement to go back on staff, I decided to do just that and...here I am with September 3rd drawing nearer, running around trying to get ready and inwardly cursing my affinity for procrastination.

Here's the thing, We're Christians; children of God whom He loves beyond anything we can comprehend. We're free from sin, free from fear. We serve an almighty, all powerful, awesome, one and only God. And we're all called to love other people. 1st John 4:19 says, "We love because He first loved us." When I graduated from high school I didn't know what I wanted to do. People asked me, "What are you passionate about?" I came up with answers to satisfy people but the truth was that I didn't know what my passions were. It bothered me that I didn't know. It seemed like everyone was passionate about something; music, sports, careers, maybe their pets; but by the grace of God a few years later, Jesus Christ got a hold of my heart and He didn't let go. He guided me, protected me, provided for me, showed me a love I'd never experienced before and gave my life a purpose. Thank you God for my parents who raised me to respond to Your voice. That purpose is to go. That purpose is to show. That purpose is to love. I finally have a passion. It dawned on me not too long ago that my salvation isn't really about me at all. Jesus died on the cross, took my sin away and now I belong to Him. That's amazing! That's beyond amazing. But now I'm called to be like Jesus and Jesus never did anything for himself. So my relationship with God is actually all about you. And him. And her. And her son, and her son's sister. And everyone because Jesus died for everyone and rose again for everyone. And it's all just really cool.

I'm not sure how to wrap this up. But I guess I'm going to Honolulu to show people God's love and live out my purpose through Jesus Christ. Thanks for reading!

Brice Livingston
2707 Hipawai Place
Honolulu, Hawaii United States 96822

bricelivingston@gmail.com
716.800.7991
http://www.gofundme.com/brice-livingston

The Blind Woman

As I Google “symptoms of parasites” yet again, my thoughts drift back to the blind woman. Many details escape my memory but maybe they will resurface here on paper. My team of teens and twenties had been in Nepal not a week when we saw our first miracle. I’m not actually sure if it was the first or not, or actually if it was a miracle at all, but it was in the first week of our two month outreach that the blind woman was healed.

Allow me to insert a mid-story preface. (I know I probably won’t go back and edit this.) To a Christian, God is indisputably the Creator of the universe, He loves His creation (us) so much that He sent His only Son to die as a sacrifice, only to come back to life three days later, conquering death and taking the penalty of our sins away from us, God is love. He is eternal, The Beginning and The End, The First and The Last. He is infinite, just, gracious, compassionate and all-powerful. There is no box labeled “God” that you can open and close, there is no human mind that can contain or fathom all that is God, who we serve and love with everything that we are. We have only the peace that surpasses understanding.

In general, Americans don’t speak Nepali and people from Nepal don’t speak English. So, while we prayed for a group of believers in a small house doubling as a church, we had a few translators hastily moving from group to group. Guys pray for guys and girls pray for girls; which is why it wasn’t until later that evening back at our host’s house that I learned of the blind woman. It turned out that the tiny middle-aged woman that I had seen weeping with joy had been blind for twenty years prior to that day. Other team members had noticed her earlier struggling to find a seat on the floor due to her cataracts that rendered her sightless. So when she asked for prayer for her eyes, our girls sprang into fervent action. We saw her the next day. She was smiling a large toothy grin and greeted our team warmly. I remember making eye-contact with her.

Even though I’m sometimes skeptical about this event and it makes me feel uncomfortable when I talk about it and others like it, the bottom line is this: God can do anything. So I guess, why not this?

I suppose the important thing to dwell on is not whether or not she was actually healed, or even why she was or why so many others weren't, but rather the fact that throughout the two months I spent in Nepal with eleven other Americans, we had the privilege of speaking to over 5,000 people about Jesus Christ and the love He offers them. Several of us had the opportunity to personally lead individuals to Christ and set them on a life path that will forever change them and the people around them. Even if we had spoken to no one, done nothing of consequence for anyone, experienced no personal growth and flown back home feeling empty and useless; if we had done absolutely nothing except plant one small seed in one person’s heart, if we had given hope to just one person during the whole of those two months, it would have been worth it. In this, I find the peace that surpasses understanding and I am thankful.

Journey

February 6, 2012    (Written approximately 2 years ago)

     Praise be to God, The Creator of the Universe, The Author of Love, My personal Savior who has paid for my sins. Thank You for Your grace and guidance. Let hearts of stone be turned to clay. Amen.     At times in order to comprehend those things that we cannot fully understand or see, it is easiest to utilize a method of physical representation; to associate something unfamiliar with something familiar. Take from this what you may, make applications, assumptions, connections, seek out flaws, make corrections, throw it away, but my one and only plea to you is this: receive God’s words. Open your ears and press them to His heart. Understand His love that He has for you, obey His commandments, act on your convictions, and praise Him with all your might, For He is the one true God and is worthy of all our praise.
     My spiritual journey is one of fluctuating undulation; one characterized by fervor, and falling away; attentiveness, and apathy; a rise and fall of commitment; and by temperatures hot and cold; lukewarm.
     In your mind’s eye please imagine a mountain with snow-covered slopes. This mountain floats on a bed of clouds with nothing but blue sky surrounding it and the sunlight reflecting off the snow is almost blinding. From a distance this mountain seems old and unimportant, but if you were to look more closely, you might discover that upon this mountain, journeys are made. Journeys of peril and determination, helplessness and rescue; journeys of life and death. And it just so happens that on one particular nightfall, on this particular mountainside, my own journey began.

     Night arrived and darkness shrouded the mountainside. As darkness descended, filling the cracks and crevices left abandoned by the setting sun, I found myself slipping ever so slightly down the slopes of this mountain. And so with darkness my own descent began. I complacently slid down the gradual slope unaware of the destruction that awaited me below. I enjoyed the thrill of danger, and sometimes doubted that the mountain held any meaning at all. As the night grew colder and the snow turned to ice my slow descent became rapid and I quickly began to plummet to my doom below. Wind rushed over razor sharp ridges and hollowed out caverns. There was no slowing down; there was no way off this mountain. I had chosen my path and as my body hurtled downward to its certain demise, fear gripped my heart.

     Drugs and immorality, deceit and duality, fear and secrecy; this is what I came from, this is what I practiced.  What little faith I professed was choked by a corrupt mind.  What shallow relationship with God that I claimed to possess, leaked from a diseased heart. One life gradually became two. I concealed my faith in front of friends and hid my sins from my family. I chose death over life time and time again and I eventually, by God’s grace, reached a crisis.

     Miraculously in the midst of my downhill demise, as if something supernatural had intervened, I came to a stop. In my path before me lay a gaping hole reaching down, deep into the depths of the mountain. I took a step closer and as I peered down into the darkness I caught a glimpse of the eternal pain and separation that was to befall me. Deep down, far below the mountain, searing flames shimmered white-hot in a roiling lake of fire. A gust of hot, rancid, air rushed upward from the mountain's belly and smacked my face like a giant belch. Terrified, I stumbled back and clung to the icy slope. I tried to clamor hopelessly upward but I discovered that my feet were bare and bleeding. My body was numb and my fingers were like icicles themselves; hollow and void of life. The wind scraped and cut at my body clenched on the side of this dreadful mountain, relentless in its attempt to whisk me from my perch. As my life clung perilously to the icy mountainside, I felt a weight tugging at my feet. Horror gripped my being as my eyes locked on a dozen black ropes tethered to my ankles. The snake-like ropes stretched far into the darkness below as if I were an upside down puppet. Frantically my frozen hands fumbled at the knots but the harder my fingers worked at loosening the ropes, the tighter their grip became.

     As my frozen limbs clung to the mountainside, and the wind howled past me, the ropes became taught and then slowly but persistently began to drag me downward. I desperately fought to hold my ground with hands and feet bloodied by the ice. It was then that I heard them. Faint at first but then louder and more horrifying with each lost inch. From deep down beneath the mountain, beneath the darkness, somewhere at the end of those dreadful ropes, came the screams. Each was separate and distinct but resonated together with unspeakable pain and anguish. Every swell seemed to stab my spine with dread, desensitizing me to my doom. Exhaustion began to set in and my struggle began to come to a close. Despair deepened itself in my thoughts and the wind seemed to laugh in my face. I had been claimed by death and it was time to accept my defeat. I closed my eyes and cold blackness washed over me as I felt myself sinking steadily down into darkness toward the bottom of that wretched mountain. Thoughts of eternal suffering counted to infinity inside my head. Shrieks of pain hammered into my mind the realization that I was about to experience complete separation from God forever.

     And then, like a final gift before death, I am able to think of my mother. Her smile, her warm hugs, her laugh. She stands alone in my empty room weeping silently, her tears streaming down my dust-covered Bible in her hands. She loves me how only a mother can love her child. And in my mind I understand that she knows. She knows I will never see her again…I will never see her again…I will never see her again… My eyes flutter open to find darkness all around me. Desperation grips me one last time and I call out to God with all my might, “Dear God please save me!”


Grace, mercy, love, divine intervention.
God reclaims his children just as the dawn reclaims the night.
To a second chance I have no right,
But because of God’s Son, crucified on a cross, I am a moth returned to light.
Rivers of healing water drown sin in a flood,
Thank you God for salvation through Christ’s blood.
Grace, mercy, love, divine intervention.

     Sunlight rips through the night with the first glimmer of dawn. Darkness is left torn and frightened and cowers within itself deep below the mountain. The light reclaims each crevice and each crack in the name of golden victory. My darkened eyes burn from the sunlight and tears stream down my raw face. My muscles relax as the ropes loosen their grip and slither away into the depths of the mountain. Weakness floods my body and I feel myself slipping, letting go, falling. A sudden warmth, overwhelming and relieving in every way, envelopes my body and lifts me up, carrying me for what seems like only a moment before I drift into sleep.

.     I awaken to the sun's warmth on my face and songbirds chirping in my ears. I keep my eyes shut and breathe in the sweet smelling air. Then I inhale deeply, filling my lungs. A smile cracks my lips as I open my eyes and find that I am lying in a meadow. The grass tickles my neck and the pleasant buzz of insects adds to the sense of life resonating from perfect creation. Once again on my feet I search my surroundings and spot the peak of a mountain just over the treeline at the edge of the meadow. Memories pile back into my mind along with the realization that I am wearing clothes. And shoes. Mystified, I jam my hands into my pockets. In my left pocket my fingers clasp a folded piece of paper. Shakily I withdraw the paper and as I slowly unfold each crease, I feel empowered, as if my destiny is unfolding before my eyes. I begin to understand that this is not the end of something terrible but rather the beginning of something grand. I breathe deeply and will my scarred hands to steadiness as I read the simple note inside: "Hide me in your heart, but don’t keep me a secret. I am waiting at the top.”

     I no longer write my story. My final chapter has been written and redacted, stopped short before a destructive resolution. God now holds my pen and has begun to author a new chapter in my life titled "Love." I am experiencing joy and freedom in an unthinkable way. I understand that today's actions affect tomorrow. I have discovered gifts and talents that have been suppressed or misused and continue to seek God's guidance in my life which I resolve to live for His honor and His glory. As I take part in this romance God continues to heal my wounds, though I am left with scars to speak of His grace and power. He leaves them behind to remind me that pride comes before a fall, that a life of folly leads to strife, that disobedience leads to death, that there is no way to heaven except through Jesus Christ and that He loves me. I am a sinner but my sins have been purchased. All that is left to do is to pass God's love on from me, to you. Because you are God's wonderful creation that he longs for, that He has created for a purpose. You are called to be a child of God. So be who you are called to be.

December 10th 2013

     It's about 6:45am. I'm sitting on a rooftop in Kathmandu, Nepal and the Himalayas are stretched out in front of me. I'm reminded of how two years ago, almost to the date, God brought me back to life in Him. I remember I had made the decision in my mind that I was going to live my life without my parents' God. I didn't plan on going to church when I had my own family. I planned on putting my trust in money and education because I didn't believe God even existed.
     Thank you God for the plans you have for my life and for bringing me here. Thank you that you are always with me. Give me compassion for these people. Give me the words to say. Amen.

February 25th, 2014 (Today)

     I've spent the past sixish months with a global missions organization called Youth With A Mission (YWAM). I was part of a Discipleship Training School in Honolulu where I was basically trained to be a missionary. There were two phases, a lecture phase in where we do a lot of studying, and then an outreach phase where we put what we've learned to practice. I went to Nepal with eleven other students.
     The capital of Nepal is Kathmandu which is where we flew into and stayed for the first month. We stayed with our contact, Rajendra, and his family. We spent the first week preaching at his church. We all gave messages. It became very clear to me within the first few days that these people that we were preaching to didn't need to hear anything we had to say. They were the epitome of a Christian body. They should've been preaching to us. We were just a bunch of kids who barely knew where to find Genesis in our Bibles. But somehow God was able to use us. That first week was a powerful time of fellowship and healing for many people.
     There's something about someone who has given up everything to follow Christ. In Nepal, almost everyone is Hindu. So if you become a Christian, you'll inevitably be kicked out of your family. Shunned is the word I think. So to be in the presence of 30 or so believers who you know have been ridiculed, abused, laughed at, and exiled...is a little humbling. I live in a nation that is Christian. Something like 80% of Americans profess Christianity. I've had to sacrifice nothing to be a believer. I guess it's just an eye-opening experience.
     We spent the rest of our month in Kathmandu doing prayer walks, handing out Bibles, preaching at brick factories, participating in local church functions and house fellowships, and the guys played soccer.
     When you spend an extended period of time in a "Third World" country you begin to start a list. A list of food you will eat when you get back to the States or wherever it is you will "get back to." Most of the food is junk. But there's something about eating rice nearly every day for each meal for three months that does something to you.
    One thing it does to you is make you sick. For the entire month of December at least one of our team members was sick everyday. I can personally take credit for expelling food out of my mouth onto another team mate. It had a nice misting effect. All in all, we were very blessed with the food we had. We always had three meals a day and never had to eat any outlandishly crazy foods.
     Our second month was spent in West Nepal. We stayed in many different places during our second month. But one consistency was walking. Every day we would walk. We sang songs, did skits, preached, prayed for people. We went to schools, houses, villages, streets, churches, temples. One week we bought medicine and went with dentists to a remote village and held a dental clinic. Several of us got to pull teeth. The medicine was heavy, the hiking was all uphill, the places we stayed were uncomfortable, the experience was priceless. I know for a fact that during that week people's lives were impacted. Mine was too.

     I've graduated and said goodbye to most of my new friends. I fly home in a few hours. I'm excited to see family and old friends. I look forward to sharing more with you personally if you wish. There's so much to tell. Once again thank you for your support. I'm excited for what God does next in my life and those around me. This isn't the end, it's another beginning. Oh, I apologize for zero pictures. Two iphones with the majority of our outreach photos were stolen in an airport in Bangkok. I know some others took some so maybe soon I'll be able to post some. Thanks!